A survey shows a finding that children raised by happily married parents are highly likely to develop a good marital relationship. According to the reference source, a survey was conducted on the four groups based on their parents’ marital relationship and they answer a questionnaire about how their marital relationship changed after marriage. The survey shows quite interesting findings. I recommend that you read an article in the reference source.
I am surprised to learn the result: “happy couples who have parents in love with each other account for nearly 90 percent of all subjects.” As the survey shows, we can say that the shortest route to making the world a better place is improvement of marital relationship.
The original article has several pieces of important advice other than “No. 1 to No.3 golden rules of marital happiness I quoted. The advice I find particularly interesting is to accurately tell the other what you want to say and accept all of the other.” I think it is really an important secret of marital happiness. It is the same with parental relationship.
Golden rule No. 2 is proper advice for women. Simple-minded men can never understand the euphemism women often use. For example, almost no men come to realize that a wife wants to drink tea when asked “Aren’t you thirsty?” My wife seems to well understand that men are such creatures. She has not used euphemism to our son and forced him to send her a bunch of flowers by candidly saying “A bunch of flowers on Mother’s Day!” For this very reason, my son never fails to send a bouquet of flowers on Mother’s Day every year. Every time she receives it, my wife is so happy by saying “how nice my son is!”
I teach my son the secret of how to befriend women by type of *Taiheki as kingcraft. He was moved very much by how to come closer to the Leftwards and Rightwards category (Types 3 and 4).
*Taiheki is a concept on one’s bodily tendency in sensitivity, temperament, movement and personality, which is established by Haruchika Noguchi. (Wikipedia)
Actually, there is a much simpler fact. All couples who have poor marital relations share the fact that they have poor sexual relations 99% of the time; one or both of the couple are dissatisfied with the relations. Unless this problem is solved, it is almost meaningless to talk about various secrets of good marital relations.
This is the very reason why I have often recommended that you read the book “Sex Perfection and Marital Happiness” by Rudolf von Urban, M.D. (New York: The Dial Press, Inc. 1949) (Japanese edition:Yasousha).
I wonder how many women can understand the essential meaning of a quite simple rule: Golden Rule No. 3- “Do what a husband wants”. It is very simple and all you have to do is “not to refuse when a husband wants you.” Women can’t understand this and husbands can’t understand why they are refused. This causes almost every tragedy in this world.
August 17, 2917
Shanti-phula has indicated some parts of the following text in black boldface type or in red letters.
English translation of a Japanese article: Menjoy – July 28, 2017 –
Divorce is inherited!? Survey reveals: “Parents’ marital relations impact on children”
It is said that “children grow as they look at the back of their parents.” I wonder how much impact do parents’ marital relations have on their children.
What has happened to children raised by parents in love with each other after marriage?
[Subjects who have parents in love with each other]
*in love with each other * rather good
*not so good *on the verge of divorce or have already been divorced
What a surprise! Happy couples whose parents are in love with each other account for nearly 90 percent of all subjects! This is an incredible figure though the study population is not so large.
Golden rule of marital happiness No. 1: Honestly talk about each other.
Golden rule of marital happiness No. 2: Not complain to each other about dissatisfaction but convey how you feel.
<snip> Not blame the other one-sidedly by saying “You are wrong there!” but try to come face-to-face with yourself to know what you really want your husband to do. And then, tell how you feel and what you want by specifically saying “I feel sorry if you do … and I want you to do this if possible.”
Golden rule of marital happiness No. 3: Respect the other’s opinion, too.
If you want the other to listen to your opinion, never forget to respect the other’s opinion, too. Stop what your husband does not want you to do. Instead, do what your husband wants you to do. It is a very simple rule. <snip> Take much time to talk together to find common ground.
(The rest is omitted)